Air Quotes No Longer Needed

When I talk about my Facebook friends, it’s usually with air quotes... you know, “friend”, and a little chagrin too wondering if I sound like that crazy cat lady. Well, I’d like you to meet my new FB friend, Sue Elliott, air quotes no longer needed. Sue lives in the Napa Valley—I love the Napa Valley. Sue writes an inspirational blog—I love inspirational blogs…but that’s only the beginning of this story.

I met Sue over brunch at Bank Bar in Napa. It was everything I expected it to be… I just knew. We became FB friends last year. We chatted via Wall Posts, Comments and Messages. All good, all fun, but last fall I had a gut feeling that I needed to connect with her face to face. Not surprisingly she agreed, and this weekend we made it happen on her turf, because I’m always up for an adventure.

She felt like an old friend from the moment we greeted. Our paths were different but somehow similar. We were kindred spirits long before we met. I could share with you the various conversations that consumed our short time together, because talk, we did—for three non-stop hours. But the conversation was secondary to the extraordinary energy that wrapped around us as new friends. Friends that would not have happened, had it not been for the internet and social media sites…the perfect medium for an introvert like me.

Where else can you meet with someone consistently on your time frame, in your comfort zone without sharing too much space and energy except you’re ready and willing? I’ve heard debates about how social network sites isolate us from the human connection…I find just the opposite. Without social network sites, those of us who are shy or reserved find it nearly impossible to generate new friends outside of our immediate circle. No, I do not use FB in place of friends, but I use it as a stepping stone to more involved, quality friendships. I certainly could never be with this large of a group of people so easily and happily in a physical space and time. And as with all social groups, I can enjoy many and cherish the few that I have been lucky enough to connect with deeply.

Sue, thank you for your friendship--from virtual to reality--and a fine adventure too.

At the End of My Rope...

I was feeling ‘at the end of my rope’ the other day. It doesn’t really matter what the particular issues were. What does matter, however, was that intense feeling of frustration, locking me all up inside…then I realized that with each rope we come to the end of, we are offered choices of paths to take.

One popular saying is "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." But I had to wonder, am I so busy hanging on to the rope that I am totally missing the opportunities that are presenting themselves to me? And if that were true, just what did my rope look like and why was I so attached to it? Well, that’s less of a question because it’s pretty easy to dearly hang on to the known just to avoid the unknown. It’s what we call our comfort zone (no matter how uncomfortable it is).

Lately I’ve been drawn to stories and quotes about adventure…I know that adventure is less about climbing mountains and more about attitude and taking personal risks…especially emotional risks. I feel that I am, once again, on the precipice of another great leap in my life, for I have battled with this ‘end of my rope’ syndrome for months now. I’m not sure what my new direction will be, but the thing is, I can't go in a new direction until I'm ready to let go of the rope.

What ‘ropes’ are you hanging on to? What opportunities are showing up for you, that you are ignoring? Just what would happen if you let go of that rope and let your feet land where they may? Hmmm… Happy adventuring fellow introverts.

Never Start a Road Trip With a Dirty Car, and Other Grand Advice

Never start a road trip with a dirty car. I’m not sure what will happen if you do, but it’s advice that I’ve always followed. Funny the rituals we go through as we prepare for the unknown.  Is it our attempt to have the last illusion of control before we take that plunge into the unfamiliar?

I used to hate that feeling of being out of my comfort zone, but I've come to hate, even more, the feeling of being left out of my life.  Now, I’ve become friends with the butterflies in my belly. When they visit, I know I’m staying true to my dream of living life fully…unfettered by fear and doubt. Tonight I am entertaining butterflies again. But they are welcome here because soon I will put the Central Coast in my rear view mirror and head south to an adventure. If you want to come along for the ride, just follow me. I'll be the one with the shiny, clean car.

Where Hunger Can Take You

Made an impromptu cookie-run to Cayucos - to the Brown Butter Cookie Company. I was immediately offered bite-sized samples as I entered the red storefront. Who knew cookies topped with sea salt would taste so good? I bought a few more than I planned.

Treats in hand I headed onto the town’s pier. The cloud strewn horizon created intrigue and beauty. In time, my breathing matched the rhythm of the waves below me as I soaked in all the ocean had to offer...if for only a moment.  

Sometimes the simplest things in a day can be the best…all it took was a thought and the willingness to act on it. So easy, so pure, so tasty. I got my cookie…where you gonna get yours?

Life In a Traffic Circle

We have a traffic circle in my small beach town.  It’s either humorous or irritating depending on how your day is going, but it’s rarely dull. Yesterday it reminded me of a metaphor for life. Some people get in and out with the greatest of ease. Others seem to get stuck in the inner lane and don’t know how to exit. Some will make it to the outer lane but get so confused that they stop at all exits, not sure really what to do next. And then there are people who can’t even get into the circle because they’re always waiting for the right time…the safe time.

In my life I want to be able to get into and out of situations with the greatest of ease. I want to explore all exits and see where they take me. I want to navigate cautiously around others with less resolve and perhaps entice them to follow my path for a little while.

My Adventurous Introvert self won’t allow me to travel with the crowd.  Am a loner, yet I love people. I need quiet and serenity, yet I crave adventure. I will seek places both innermost and outermost, but adventure I will. Next week I will begin taking Facebook from Virtual to Reality. I will be armed with laptop, GPS and cameras, both still and video, and I will begin sharing my adventures through the eyes of an introvert.

I hope you follow along as I connect with my new friends and experience their town through their eyes. I’ll be creating as I go as I’m never sure what I’m doing until I’ve done it. Just like my traffic circle, it will never be dull. Adventure is an attitude, create a new one each day.

Flirting

Just what is it about flirting that is so fun? The other night my friend and I were having dinner at a little bistro in town. The place had that continental flair—all dark and cozy, a handful of tables for two, crystal chandelier hanging in the center of the room while candles glowed on each table. It was an absolutely charming place to have a quiet meal and visit for a while.

There were two guys dining at the table next to ours and the place was so small, we couldn’t help but overhear their conversation. Growing hops. Now you’ve got to admit, there’s a conversation you don’t hear everywhere. You hear talk of wine, food, travel, work, relationships, but hops? Never.

Now it’s not my style to interrupt or impose myself on the conversations of others, but here we were, two single women out on the town and there they were two (presumably) single men sharing an interesting conversation over a cheese board and beer. Yes, there was a little flirting going on too.

As we left, my friend and I commented on how great flirting makes you feel and wondered why don’t we do it more often? Well, I don’t know about you, but it’s not a natural thing for me to do. It feels forced. I just don't have that easy-going, relaxed, flirty personality. I think I come across as too serious most of the time. But there it is…that ‘too’ word. Maybe I’ll just give it a try a few more times. After all, flirting is fun. Besides, you can be serious and have fun at the same time, right? It's just like adventure--it's simply an attitude, and a fun one at that!

Packard, Party of One

Eating out alone can be an unusual experience, and not always a pleasant one. I’ve talked to so many that have their strategies for getting through it. But mostly it’s a strategy for getting through it, not necessarily enjoying it. What’s an introvert to do? Here’s some of the advice I’ve gathered through the years:
• Bring a book—it’ll give you something to do and look at.
• Make lunch your main meal out to avoid the “I’m the only one here eating alone” stigma from the dinner
  crowd.
• Pretend you’re waiting for someone, but order while you’re waiting.
• Sit at the counter/bar.
• Eat before the dinner rush

I’m sure there are countless more, but what strikes me the most is what depths we go to disguise or lessen the stigma of eating alone. Some of these strategies have benefits for the introvert. We love to read, and we often prefer noncrowded places; but why have we become conditioned to apologize for our circumstances…as if we don’t deserve the nice table next to the window?

I know, a lot of it is economics, but I’ve found that if I eat a bit earlier that the typical rush hour, I can ask for the nice location without feeling guilty (and the guilt is purely for economic reasons). It should be noted that I usually eat early under normal (i.e. home) circumstances, so this isn’t a concession for someone like me.

But eating and enjoying the experience are two different things. One thing that I love to do is talk to the server about his or her recommendations. I’ve tried many a dish based on server recommendations that I’ve ended up loving and would never have chosen on my own. Many times I’m up front about feeling uncomfortable eating alone and would like to make an experiment out of this…being honest more often than not yields great results.

A scenario that I recently went through went like this: “I’m eating alone tonight, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to turn it into something of an experiment and order a variety of appetizers, unless you have a better suggestion from the menu?” The response was that my server suggested their trademark Soup Du Jour and two very unique appetizers (an Oyster ‘something’ and the Calamari Rings with a Cajun dipping sauce).

The food was great, but the real benefit was the interaction I had with my server for the duration of the meal…he was most attentive (almost as if he was making sure I wasn’t lonely perhaps?), but not intrusively so. It was fun to interact and to try foods I might not have picked otherwise. Because they were his suggestions, I could ask questions about the dish—how was it prepared, where the chef is from, how often do they change their menus and specials, etc.

This particular dining experience was an adventure that turned dining solo into something fun instead of something to endure. It was a perfect evening for an introvert alone (but not lonely!). I drove back to my room with pleasant thoughts, happy memories, and a satisfied palate—a nice way to end the day before I went back into my introvert cave and recharged for t he next day’s adventure.

Enough Stirring Already!

My friend and I had a mini adventure back to Paso Robles and the wonderful cheese shop, Di Raimondo’s Italian Market. As we explored the rest of the town we were getting energized by the creativity displayed in many of the retail shops. Few words were exchanged as we both internalized what we were experiencing---that’s what I love about my friend, we’re usually on the same page of interaction, and can just be quiet together.

We decided to stay for lunch before heading back to the coast and took care to pick an interesting restaurant. We chose well as we examined the menu…lots of tempting things to pique the salivary glands. As we ordered, we were commenting how nice the place was. And then……..,seated at a table no more than 6 feet away was a woman and her gentleman friend. We heard her first…then felt the onslaught of her energy. She was stirring a simple glass of iced tea as if her life depended on it. Seriously…the energy was so intense that my friend and I had to stop our conversation and just stare while she relentlessly attacked the ice cubes.

Do not think for one moment, dear reader, that this was ordinary stirring to dissolve some sugar…there was way more to it than that. The really fascinating part was the rest of her body language. She sat relaxed, her face was open and smiling, her friend was too. They seemed to really be enjoying their lunch together. But oh, the hand that stirred the drink…first with the spoon, then with the straw. I wanted to tell the server not to refill her glass. It was non-stop for the entire lunch.

Part of me was hugely entertained by this woman’s actions, the other part wanted to throttle her (alright, at the very least dump her drink in her lap---but wait, she would have to have a refill). How can a person send such mixed singles: Happy, relaxed, and open, but killer with the stirring hand?  My friend wanted to say something, but honestly? I sensed some danger there. What we witnessed was adventurous enough for me….

The Adventure of Letting Go

I had my housewarming party last night. It has been years since I’ve hosted a party, but I found it’s like riding a bicycle: you never lose it. The house came together (enough; I’ve learned to let go of perfection). Everyone I invited came, and some new friends came as well, as guests…I had a house full of happy people enjoying each others company. And check out the yummy food everyone brought!! (Yep, I'm still all about the food!)

This morning I am a contented, satisfied introvert…glowing from the memories of the night before, and sitting alone in quiet with my double-shot cup of coffee. I seem to have created this life of my dreams, and I walk around wondering how the hell I did it?

How did I go from feeling like I was in shackles for twenty some-odd years to this feeling of such emotional abundance? I realize it’s because I let go.

I let go of possessions, I let go of location, I let go of predictably, I let go of the life that no longer served me.  And working from a clean slate, I deliberately and consciously created what I have now: A life with a perfect blend of adventure and excitement and serenity and solitude. Being an introvert is no longer a struggle for me. I embrace it and incorporate my needs into all my activities. What a gift to be free. What a gift to have the energy to continue to be an Adventurous Introvert finding adventure where-ever I go.

And the party?  Well, I’ve chosen my friends well…I couldn’t have asked for a better evening.

Home At Last

I love to travel...that's no secret. Traveling can be difficult, but manageable if you're an introvert...and if you've been following this blog, that's no secret. I have overcome some significant blocks to living the traveling life I love and over the course of time I will share the in's and out's of my journey on this blog.

But for now, coming home is an adventure in and of itself. I'm enjoying getting back to the routines I had forgotten I had. I awoke at sunrise to my first view of the Rock in two weeks...I had a cup my yummy French Press coffee (Turkish blend brought back from NY)...My bed and bathtub felt special and new to me last night...My beloved laptop that works with lightening speed is a wonderful reconnection (hello old friend).

So good to be home, but I must admit, I'm already wondering what my next adventure will be. I need to stay in and around California until after the holidays, but I'm so centrally located that just about anywhere is possible...any suggestions? Would love to hear from you.
 
Zan Packard - The Adventrous Introvert

What's In Your Backyard?

On a whim, a friend and I decided to explore my neighborhood...only differently: up the hill rather than down. What I found was an adventure of beauty and inspiration. Minutes from my home was a trail that began in scrub oaks and Pines and continued up a hillside to its very peak. Each switchback offered a view more breathtaking than the last. The top provided a 360 degree view of this amazing central coastline I live in. I couldn't believe that this was the first time I had explored it.

Making that shift from everyday activities to new adventures allowed me to experience a beauty that should never be missed. I wondered how many of us go about our days doing what we always do and therefore missing out on something special?
What's in your backyard that you haven't given attention to? A new nook or corner? A new way of doing the same-ole-things? A new 'lens' with which to view your world? Adventure is an attitude. It requires little time or money...it's all in how you look at the world. What can you do today, right now, that would take you out of the ordinary and into the adventurous new? What are you waiting for, it's your life, live it now!