The Bare Truth - Trusting My Bliss

You know that I’ve broken through some pretty big barriers that kept me grounded and shackled in my life. I’ve had to learn to break free and enjoy the feeling of being adventurous. There are so many of you out there just like me…on your own path; some just starting, some beside me and some way out on the ledge. I want everyone to experience the joy of freedom that I now feel. That is why I started writing – to share my process in hopes that it will inspire you too to keep taking your next step.

But my writing is taking on a new life. It began as something for you, and I realize now that it is my lifeblood. I cannot stop writing for it is where my bliss is. Without you I might never have started…so thank you.

I am also filled with passion about helping others find their adventure – step out of the shell of introversion – live big and bold and joyfully…I’ve learned it and I know those that yearn for it can learn from my experience.

For a few years I have wanted to create products that will help you along your journey…things that have worked for me, and others like me, that will work for you too. The products are in my head, and they are exciting, but for whatever reason I am not completing them and that causes a block in my writing as well…about the only thing that is happening right now is traveling. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately and have dreams of many more miles. But it seems that I should be finding a way to earn a living….....

There is something BIG stopping me and I’m just not sure what it is. Here’s where my thoughts go daily:

• “Ok I want to travel and roam around the world just doing whatever spirit calls me to do – to live in the now.” (I call it following my Bliss.)

• “I’m currently doing that, but I’m using my savings to supplement this. I have enough savings to last me two more years of Bliss…” (insert a note of fear with this thought.)

• “I will either find my path and create money by following my Bliss, or I will go through it all and have to rebuild.” (again).

• “I’m tired of building…I want to play…it’s time to play.”

My heart’s desire is to play and to write about it. I am at my fullest when I’m writing from the heart. My belief is: If I write honestly, openly and with humor people will follow me. I feel that I am called to earn an income from my writing...but for now, I just write because with it I am earning a life.

However, I am blocked on my writing right now because I am trying to create products to sell. I don’t seem to be able to write and produce a product too. I know I’m meant to write, so the product (which intellectually makes good sense – like a plan B) is standing in the way.

My intellect says: Just power through the product, get it out there and let a VA manage it for you so you can go play. But my heart says: if it doesn’t call to ‘you’, it won’t call to anyone. A VA cannot generate the energy and good will that you do. Your products will need you forever…they will keep you grounded when all you really want to do is fly – soar.

This morning I woke up realizing that I don’t have to know where my money is coming from, I just have to live my Bliss. Let go of the details, that’s not my job any more. Allow God to provide the details, He can do it far better than I can. (and much easier, I suspect).

I tear up when I acknowledge this…it is the truth…it is scary…I know I must do this and I know that I will survive….I will survive on my terms, on my level, in love and with joy.

I’m going to continue to write my story and adventure through the holidays, then I’m going to go to Peru for a month or two….that will be my stepping off point for 2011.

I’m going to write…that is something that I cannot stop doing. I can’t stop traveling either…those are two really great things to know about myself. I’ve trusted my Bliss this far, from now on I’m going to put all my faith in it (quit hedging my bets) and do what it takes to keep following whatever opportunities the universe sends my way.

From your very terrified and excited Adventurous Introvert..............

Adventure and Introversion DO Go Together

One doesn’t immediately think of an introvert as an adventurer, and I certainly fell prey to that line of thinking for a long time too. How could someone living such a rich, internal existence be considered adventurous?

One big huge misconception is that all introverts are shy and avoid new situations. While that’s true of many, those behaviors are usually the results of learning rather than personality trait. The basic innate traits of the introvert are someone who enjoys solitude, depth, and finding solutions to life’s problems. Introverts do not thrive in a surface, one-dimensonal world, they do, however thrive in the depths of mystery and intrigue, and what’s more adventurous than discovery?

I would venture that many explorers past and present were introverts as well. Someone who sets out on an adventure to discover new worlds or new ways to do something often sets out alone. They are doing and going places that no man has gone before. While the thrill of adventure might motivate an extrovert, the thrill of discovery often motivates the introvert.

We are not all inventors and explorers, but introverts can still adopt the adventurous mindset. Adventure is an attitude, after all. We can feel adventurous doing mundane things like grocery shopping or filling the tank up with gas. We don’t need to be rock climbing to feel the joy and spirit of adventure.

Adrenaline Junkie

O.K., I have to write this. Readers who have been with me a long time have heard this story, so forgive me, but for my new readers there’s something you should know about me. I’m a closet adrenaline junkie trapped inside an introvert’s body.

I just watched a short clip of a Blue Angel performing across the San Francisco Bay – low enough to leave a trail in the water and I’m filled with excitement and memories of how important their performances have always been to me.

So important, in fact, that I always thought I was going to grow up to be a fighter pilot. Period. No questions asked. I was going to fly like the wind – fight bad guys and be one with the universe. No one told me that (in those days) women were not allowed to be fighter pilots. 

(My dream fell away when my eyesight failed to the point of  becoming ineligible (somewhere around 10 or 12). I don't remember the details, but I accepted this far more readily than I would have accepted denial simply due to my gender. Bless my family for not pointing this out to me as I had enough on my plate to deal with.)

Adrenaline – my love and my enemy. A thrill and a burden. Too much adrenaline and my system crashes…not enough and I wither. I was withering several years ago in an attempt to handle the chaos that had become my life - I was in permanent shut down mode, not allowing any stimulus to reach me; trying to be safe, but suffocating instead. However, I am bold and brave in spurts so during one of those moments I forged out to set things right - to discover the life that I wanted – rather than a life by default.

Here on these pages I have shared my struggles with wanting more than my energetic system can handle and testing ways to have it all. I can, you know – have it all. I refuse to accept the default mode anymore. I am finding balance more often than not these days, I am finally accepting that life can be just EXACTLY the way I want it...filled with excitement and serenity; no small task, but it's mine.

Selfish or Highly Focused?

I was called selfish so much as a child that I really believed it. After all I’m totally focused on myself and what I’m doing, yes, often to the exclusion of others and outside activities. I’m in my element inside my head tossing around idea after idea. 

Yet, I’m one of the most caring and giving people you’ll ever meet too. Granted, I’m very judicious about whom I give my energy to, and as an introvert I have just a handful of friends that I would drop everything and support, but my passion is large and expansive for those who have endured the trials and tribulations that many introverts have.

Of course it isn’t introversion that is the culprit, it’s the way we have internalized our world and the defensive mechanisms that we have put into place that often get in our way of just being who we are. Or more specifically being O.K. with who we are.

I woke up this morning wondering what selfish means…I bought into it decades ago, and it still travels with me, but I think I’m just focused and driven. My thoughts are so consuming that I can’t ignore them. But they are not thoughts of myself, they are thoughts of others and how to help, so maybe it’s time to leave behind the shame of being selfish and accept that I’m driven and intense and I latch on to ideas like a bull dog with a bone.

Well, correcting erroneous beliefs is always a nice way to start ones day….you have a good one too. 

Life on a Different Planet

When your wonderful, teasing, yet irritating extrovert friend keeps doing something that drives you crazy:

Introvert: Why do you keep doing that when you know how much I hate it?

Extrovert: ???? You just answered your own question (smiling brightly).

They are not your enemy; they are just from another planet. Love them anyway.

Results Are In - Survey Says......

First, before I tell you the results of the survey - What an Introvert Wants - I want to thank the wonderful Facebook friends who rose to my aide by posting my “calling all introverts” plea and the link to my survey in their status updates – it allowed me to reach far more than my own friends I’ve made along the way. You would be surprised at how many of your friends responded and took my survey (I read years ago that introverts love to take quizzes!). Without your support, I would be far less effective in helping other introverts come to terms with their introversion and find their way to live empowered lives. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Now the results:

1. Which website would you most likely visit based on NAME ALONE

The top three winners were: 

• Introvert’s Wisdom (first) and 
• The Way of the Introvert tied with 
• The Introvert’s Challenge

I will most likely be using these three names for my revised website, newsletter and Course offerings.

2. If you wanted support dealing with an issue related to your introversion, what form would you most prefer?

A resounding number of you selected "eLessons to be completed on your own time schedule that also includes email interaction with the instructor." A close second was books. 

I’m thrilled because that is precisely what I have been designing. There will be a heavy emphasis on prerecorded video classes complete with printable PDF workbooks along with questions for you to answer that will prepare you for your email interaction with the instructor – no set times needed – who wouldn’t love that?

3. Based on some of the challenges that you face as an introvert, which areas would you most likely seek support for?

All areas were fairly even in your responses, but these three had the most ‘votes’:

• Finding balance between the demands of my life and energy.
• Handling criticism with grace.
• Understanding why things affect me the way they do.

 Look for lessons that will specifically target these areas - (your wish is my command).

4. Please include any other thoughts you have that were not addresses in this short survey.

There were a number of you who would like some support in handling the marketing/promotion aspect of being a self-employed along with the need to also balance the solitude of the soloprenuer and a healthy interaction with people and events. Sometimes there can be too much solitude, so how do you reach out successfully as an introvert?

All of your comments have been taken to heart as I design new classes to help you help yourself. 

I believe we all have the answers to our own questions, but sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees - that's when a coach can guide you to see things that there - always have been - you've just needed to shift perspective a bit.  That's my job, guiding the shift to happen.

May I remind every one of what you already know in your heart: 
Introversion is not a disease, you are not broken, and you do not need to be fixed….you might however, need to rediscover what makes you so wonderful and learn how to use your natural born traits to your best advantage, and perhaps let go of a limiting behavior to two….to step into the world of your choice by your standards.

Muuaaah to all of you. Thank you

If you took the survey and want to be notified of further surveys, upcoming classes and keep up on my adventures as an introvert, be sure to sign up for emails of new posts. It’s in the column on the right – just put your email address in the box under my smiling picture. Everything I do feeds through here first, so don’t be the last to find out…sign up now.

Do Not Shy Away From Anger

"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem

That is so true about the important things in life. When we first become aware of a truth (especially if it’s been hiding in plain sight all our life) we get that forehead slapping ‘ah ha’ that we finally get it.

Then in comes the anger. Anger against ourselves, others, God, the universe, no one is spared from our wrath. We become militant as we try on this new belief.

However, as we own our belief more and more we reach a level of acceptance and here’s where we can decide to move on with our lives seeking a new path to explore.

After acceptance sets in we can become complacent, but hopefully instead we become inspired to use our new belief for our highest good….

So do not shy away from anger…it has its place in our growth process. It might be the beginning of a whole new chapter in your life.

Here’s how a truth of mine progressed a few years ago:

Them: You should get out more

Me: (To myself) Yes, there must be something wrong with me because I hate going out, I just don’t seem to fit in.

Them: You should get out more

Me: Leave me alone, I don’t want to go out! There’s nothing wrong with enjoying time alone!

Them: You should get out more

Me: You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine staying home alone for now.

Them: You should get out more

Me: smiling tolerantly: Hmmm, sounds like you’re looking forward to getting out.

THEY haven’t changed a bit…My belief about myself did. I’m an introvert, I don’t have a disease, I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed, I just find my inner mindscape very fun and exciting. 

Phonophobia Strikes Again

You do know that I’m a phonophobe? No, it’s not really a word, but it describes my relationship with the telephone to a tee. I just made an important call to my dentist…one that needed to have been made several weeks ago, and now I’m in an emergency situation.

No, I’m not afraid of the dentist. Yes, I have time to make the visit, I even have the funds to cover the visit, so how could I let this happen, you ask? Phonophobia – I will avoid anything that takes a phone call.

I had a wonderful visit with a friend yesterday via Skype. I’ve always had wonderful, insightful, inspirational visits with this friend, but all day I fought the urge to text her and cancel our talk. Phonophobia.

Is it because I depend on visuals when I’m talking? I don’t know, I think that’s part of it, but there is something else at play too. I’ve read of other introverts who have the same phobia, so I know I’m not alone.

That fact has little consolation when you are gripped by the negative emotion of answering the phone. Jump off a cliff? Hmmm, let me think about it. Answer the phone? Are you crazy?

Email me anytime, day or night and I’ll get right back to you. Call me and you’ll probably get my voice mail and maybe a call back. Then again, maybe not…