Alive With All That Life Gives Me

My friend Carla Blazek wrote a blog post about feeling vibrant. I won’t go into her details, but you can (and should) read it at your leisure here. As with all good writing, the author’s words take on unique meanings for each reader, and can spark thoughts into a different territory altogether. Carla’s post led me to travel a curious path between what feels like realism and faith, seemingly contradictory viewpoints, but my journey has led me to believe that I can have both.

My faith in my dreams is never ending, but sometimes it wavers due to the circumstances of life.  If I took my less than strong conviction and believed them to be reality, I would throw in the towel on some days…but I don’t. I have faith that the feelings of doubt and insecurities will pass and I will get back on track to working my true dream…the life that gives me purpose and passion. It’s not about the destination, but it’s all about the journey.

But Carla addressed the issue of vibrancy which made me wonder how often I feel vibrant, and how important is that feeling to me? And I do feel vibrant….just not with any consistency. Alive? Always, but being alive doesn’t mean being vibrant. I cannot fathom feeling vibrant all the time…good Lord it seems exhausting if I really think about it. I would rather have those glorious peaks of vibrancy to carry me through what will likely be a complex journey into the world of Zan. That’s my special place and sometimes I am so tickled by who I am I just bubble over with vibrancy…but other times I am deep in thought as I sort through all the twists and turns my mind takes.

I may not be vibrant all the time, but I am alive with passion for my journey. This is likely a matter of semantics, but I feel there is a difference between being alive with all that life has to give and being vibrant. One feels all-encompassing and the other feels transient. I truly feel alive even at my lowest points, and this is what I value. Taking all that life gives me, creating what I can from it, and staying in the now—where-ever that may be. That’s life on my terms.