Til Vacation Do Us Part?

Introversion and extroversion are personality traits. They are pretty much what we are born with and cannot be significantly changed. Extremes of both traits are virtually complete opposites. Since your inherent needs are so vastly different, can you, the introvert, hope to successfully vacation with an extrovert?

Yes, and no. There are so many variables at play, but the bottom line is this: it depends on your expectations. If you are dreaming of days lounging on the beach with your greatest exertion being to lift a finger and signal for another Mai Tai, and your partner’s is to explore the mysteries of the island leaving no stone unturned then you might be headed for a vacation meltdown.

There are strategies that can help with this however. Just putting your expectations out on the table before the reservations are even booked is a big step. Understanding your own personal limitations is another. That is probably more difficult for those of us who like to pretend we don’t have any limitations…but that’s a story for another day.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. I love watching sports on TV—not all, but most—however I rarely plan my day around them. A friend and I went on a long weekend skiing holiday. We’d done this before, so I pretty much knew what to expect…or so I thought. What I didn’t realize is that he was a college football fan. I’m not, so it didn’t dawn on me that he was. It turns out that we scheduled our ski weekend during some sort of college championship (forgive me for not knowing the major events of college football). To my horror, he couldn’t be budged from the TV after a day of skiing. That meant no strolling through the fantasy lit streets of the romantic ski village. No eating at new and intriguing restaurants, and no night skiing. I was pissed. We fought like cats and dogs and neither one of us enjoyed our brief adventure.

Here’s how it could have happened though. Had I known what his priorities were, and had he known that I had no interest in them, we could have made compromises and alternate plans. As an introvert, I certainly have no trouble roaming a charming ski village on my own. I might have even compromised with a dinner at a sports bar. There were a multitude of things we could have done to each have it a little bit our way. But not knowing each other’s expectations, we were pretty much shot down before we even left the driveway.

How sad we didn’t know. How sad that we now look upon that adventure as the weekend from hell—sometimes shortened to The Weekend. Yes, we’re still friends; wiser, kinder, and more understanding. I still dislike college football, I just make sure not to go anywhere with him during the playoffs/championship unless I’m totally happy adventuring out on my own. Which, I must admit isn’t a bad way to go either. 


More vacation strategies can be found in my recent article "The Introvert's Survival Guide--Vacationing with an Extrovert"