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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Extroverts: Can’t live with ‘em and can’t live without ‘em. They can keep things interesting and they can certainly be entertaining, and when properly trained they can learn to respect your need for cave time too.

But what happens when two introverts get together? It’s been described as “I like being with you, it’s just like being alone.” Well, that’s one way to look at it. It is nice to be able to be in the same room with someone without having to talk or perform. If your work entails lots of people interaction, being alone with someone certainly has its appeal.

Introverts spend time in their heads. It’s what they do. It’s what they love. It’s how they function. They are the great thinkers, planners, and dreamers of the world. They are forever watching a home-made movie in their head. However, when you have two individuals running their own mind-movies at the same time it’s pretty hard to leave one script and join the other’s.

Communication is paramount to any successful relationship. Sometimes we introverts spend so much time in our head (and yes, even having a mental conversation with that person sitting across from us), that we think the other person is up to speed with our thoughts. That’s not necessarily so. How many times have you thought something yet forgotten to verbalize it? You know you’ve processed it because you’ve gone over and over it in your mind…but you forgot one tiny little detail. You forgot to tell the other person. You both end up not on the same page. You’re not even in the same book. 

I’d love to hear from you. Looking at your significant relationships, do you function best with someone like you, or opposite from you? Or do you find other traits to be more important? While we love our solitude, the reality is we love our relationships too. Only...we want them on our terms and in our own way. What is important to you? I’d love to know.

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