We all have wounds from childhood, some deeper and more life altering than others. Young, inexperienced minds do not have the ability to understand the adult world filled with subtleties and hidden meanings. This inability can easily lead to misinterpretation, faulty beliefs, limiting behaviors and emotional wounds that are carried into adulthood.
Misinterpretations
A child is unable to separate who they are from what they do. When told that they did a bad thing they might easily interpret the words to mean they are a bad person. Hearing that a cherished pet was 'put to sleep' can cause a life-long battle with insomnia. Adults, in an effort to help children grow strong and happy, often want the child to do things differently; "Don't be so shy" they admonish; "It's not healthy to spend so much time alone. Go outside and play" they insist.
All these words of encouragement can actually imply to the child that their innate nature is wrong. These seem like simple words but they are loaded with nuances that a child does not understand without further explanation. Growing up, there are numerous opportunities for a child to misinterpret what he sees and hears. Coupled with the inward, sensitive nature of introverts, such individuals are highly susceptible to lasting emotional wounds and scars.
Faulty Beliefs
We develop our belief systems by making sense of our world as we know it whether we have correct information or not. Introverts of all ages process thoughts deeply. Words are often taken literally, and if our mind doesn't have the mature vocabulary and life experiences to interpret the words correctly, we simply create our own form of reality which becomes a belief system about ourselves. An introvert's natural tendency to figure things out first, and talk second makes this situation even more dangerous to their emotional well-being as they are not likely to talk things through with an adult.
Limiting Behaviors
Not all introverts develop deep emotional wounds; however, those without the necessary support system are more likely to have deeper wounds and scars than most. These are the individuals that have created behaviors based on their misperceptions and inner wounds. Limiting behaviors such as shyness, social anxiety, and failure to try new things are not uncommon for wounded introverts.
As with any injury, the healing process depends on the depth of the wound and the scarring that has taken place over time. It is sometimes helpful to go back to the original injury and reprocess it from an adult perspective. There might be a forehead slapping 'ah-ha' moment when we realize that our behaviors stem from a single event in our childhood; but it's more likely that the single event has turned into a convoluted, spider-web effect on our behaviors. One thing leads to a certain belief, which leads to a particular behavior, which gives rise to another belief and behavior pattern until we are fully enmeshed in a world of behaviors that we neither like nor understand.
Emotional Wounds
Most of us have self concepts-self esteem-that developed in our childhood from misinformation and lack of understanding of the world as we knew it. Such faulty beliefs can create emotional wounds that stunt our ability to fully use our skills and talents as adults.
Behaviors are learned and can therefore be unlearned. If your belief system has created behaviors that are getting in the way of what you want in life, spend some time discovering where the behavior originated. It might be an involved process but well worth the journey once you're ready to let go and consciously create a new belief system-complete with behaviors-based on who you really are and the value you bring to this world.
