Can You Build Your Plane While Flying?

Today I have waves of melancholy and excitement coursing through me.  I have to say that the wisdom about letting go to make room for something new and better is true, but not always easy, because we sometimes need to let go before we’re ready (or certainly think we are).

I am sitting here preparing to let go officially and to move into new territory and I’m filled with emotion. My heart tells me it’s good and it’s time, but my mind still wants to hang on for a moment longer secure in the status quo, but I know that status quo is my warden, my jailor. I know that I only live free if I listen to my inner spirit and face toward the new, the unexpected and, yes, the scary.

I was talking to a friend last night about how we (as humans) often hang on to something until we ruin it. I know that to be true as I’ve done that too many times before….I am much faster now at recognizing when it’s time and to begin to psychologically prepare myself.

I know exactly what my next focus is, the hard part is that it can be done anywhere in the world. For me it’s not about location, location, location. It’s about adventure, adventure, adventure.

So what I’m doing next is crystal clear. Where I’m doing it isn’t…. I’ll be cleaning out and calling Goodwill in preparation. I trust that an opportunity will show itself soon and I’ll just know it’s right, as I’ve always known, and I’ll jump into that adventure too.

It’s funny, I used to say, ‘leap and the net will appear’….now I’m going to build my plane as I fly it. If you know exactly what I mean, then be sure you sign up for email alerts with each new post from this blog – you won’t want to miss a single story.

I’ll always take you along with me.

A Year of Living Adventurously

I’m extremely thankful for the life I’ve had, and I’m equally filled with gratitude for the life ahead of me.

I cannot believe it’s been barely over a year since I’ve been actively focusing on my adventurous side….my adventurous spirit and I stepping into the discomfort of the unknown with eyes wide open, ready to experience life on a higher level; At first steeled only with resolve, then later comfortably embracing the discomfort that represents risks and living well.

With each new adventure comes a richer, deeper more expanded way of life. Gone are the days of feeling shut down and shut out of my own life. Gone is the overwhelm of day to day living (coping, if truth be told), gone is wondering where I belong and who I’m supposed to play with.

Today my life is filled with not only a heightened adventurous spirit, but loving relationships that mirror that – full of joy, and yes, adventure too – especially adventure. Not leading nor following, but walking side by side as we experience the world on this new, higher, more committed level.

I am finding more and more people who resonate with my desires and who want to play with me – people who are willing to invest in life in the ways that are important to our continued growth. Juicy, voluptuous, passionate, messy, flat-out-no-holds-barred at times, full of feeling; People who lean into fear and the unknown with grace and energy – my people.

I’m home even on the most exciting adventure because it is my life…my wonderful, adventurous life. Thank you all who have joined me, encouraged me and loved my journey. To this introvert it has been nothing short of amazing.

The Bare Truth - Trusting My Bliss

You know that I’ve broken through some pretty big barriers that kept me grounded and shackled in my life. I’ve had to learn to break free and enjoy the feeling of being adventurous. There are so many of you out there just like me…on your own path; some just starting, some beside me and some way out on the ledge. I want everyone to experience the joy of freedom that I now feel. That is why I started writing – to share my process in hopes that it will inspire you too to keep taking your next step.

But my writing is taking on a new life. It began as something for you, and I realize now that it is my lifeblood. I cannot stop writing for it is where my bliss is. Without you I might never have started…so thank you.

I am also filled with passion about helping others find their adventure – step out of the shell of introversion – live big and bold and joyfully…I’ve learned it and I know those that yearn for it can learn from my experience.

For a few years I have wanted to create products that will help you along your journey…things that have worked for me, and others like me, that will work for you too. The products are in my head, and they are exciting, but for whatever reason I am not completing them and that causes a block in my writing as well…about the only thing that is happening right now is traveling. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately and have dreams of many more miles. But it seems that I should be finding a way to earn a living….....

There is something BIG stopping me and I’m just not sure what it is. Here’s where my thoughts go daily:

• “Ok I want to travel and roam around the world just doing whatever spirit calls me to do – to live in the now.” (I call it following my Bliss.)

• “I’m currently doing that, but I’m using my savings to supplement this. I have enough savings to last me two more years of Bliss…” (insert a note of fear with this thought.)

• “I will either find my path and create money by following my Bliss, or I will go through it all and have to rebuild.” (again).

• “I’m tired of building…I want to play…it’s time to play.”

My heart’s desire is to play and to write about it. I am at my fullest when I’m writing from the heart. My belief is: If I write honestly, openly and with humor people will follow me. I feel that I am called to earn an income from my writing...but for now, I just write because with it I am earning a life.

However, I am blocked on my writing right now because I am trying to create products to sell. I don’t seem to be able to write and produce a product too. I know I’m meant to write, so the product (which intellectually makes good sense – like a plan B) is standing in the way.

My intellect says: Just power through the product, get it out there and let a VA manage it for you so you can go play. But my heart says: if it doesn’t call to ‘you’, it won’t call to anyone. A VA cannot generate the energy and good will that you do. Your products will need you forever…they will keep you grounded when all you really want to do is fly – soar.

This morning I woke up realizing that I don’t have to know where my money is coming from, I just have to live my Bliss. Let go of the details, that’s not my job any more. Allow God to provide the details, He can do it far better than I can. (and much easier, I suspect).

I tear up when I acknowledge this…it is the truth…it is scary…I know I must do this and I know that I will survive….I will survive on my terms, on my level, in love and with joy.

I’m going to continue to write my story and adventure through the holidays, then I’m going to go to Peru for a month or two….that will be my stepping off point for 2011.

I’m going to write…that is something that I cannot stop doing. I can’t stop traveling either…those are two really great things to know about myself. I’ve trusted my Bliss this far, from now on I’m going to put all my faith in it (quit hedging my bets) and do what it takes to keep following whatever opportunities the universe sends my way.

From your very terrified and excited Adventurous Introvert..............

Adventure and Introversion DO Go Together

One doesn’t immediately think of an introvert as an adventurer, and I certainly fell prey to that line of thinking for a long time too. How could someone living such a rich, internal existence be considered adventurous?

One big huge misconception is that all introverts are shy and avoid new situations. While that’s true of many, those behaviors are usually the results of learning rather than personality trait. The basic innate traits of the introvert are someone who enjoys solitude, depth, and finding solutions to life’s problems. Introverts do not thrive in a surface, one-dimensonal world, they do, however thrive in the depths of mystery and intrigue, and what’s more adventurous than discovery?

I would venture that many explorers past and present were introverts as well. Someone who sets out on an adventure to discover new worlds or new ways to do something often sets out alone. They are doing and going places that no man has gone before. While the thrill of adventure might motivate an extrovert, the thrill of discovery often motivates the introvert.

We are not all inventors and explorers, but introverts can still adopt the adventurous mindset. Adventure is an attitude, after all. We can feel adventurous doing mundane things like grocery shopping or filling the tank up with gas. We don’t need to be rock climbing to feel the joy and spirit of adventure.

Adrenaline Junkie

O.K., I have to write this. Readers who have been with me a long time have heard this story, so forgive me, but for my new readers there’s something you should know about me. I’m a closet adrenaline junkie trapped inside an introvert’s body.

I just watched a short clip of a Blue Angel performing across the San Francisco Bay – low enough to leave a trail in the water and I’m filled with excitement and memories of how important their performances have always been to me.

So important, in fact, that I always thought I was going to grow up to be a fighter pilot. Period. No questions asked. I was going to fly like the wind – fight bad guys and be one with the universe. No one told me that (in those days) women were not allowed to be fighter pilots. 

(My dream fell away when my eyesight failed to the point of  becoming ineligible (somewhere around 10 or 12). I don't remember the details, but I accepted this far more readily than I would have accepted denial simply due to my gender. Bless my family for not pointing this out to me as I had enough on my plate to deal with.)

Adrenaline – my love and my enemy. A thrill and a burden. Too much adrenaline and my system crashes…not enough and I wither. I was withering several years ago in an attempt to handle the chaos that had become my life - I was in permanent shut down mode, not allowing any stimulus to reach me; trying to be safe, but suffocating instead. However, I am bold and brave in spurts so during one of those moments I forged out to set things right - to discover the life that I wanted – rather than a life by default.

Here on these pages I have shared my struggles with wanting more than my energetic system can handle and testing ways to have it all. I can, you know – have it all. I refuse to accept the default mode anymore. I am finding balance more often than not these days, I am finally accepting that life can be just EXACTLY the way I want it...filled with excitement and serenity; no small task, but it's mine.

Selfish or Highly Focused?

I was called selfish so much as a child that I really believed it. After all I’m totally focused on myself and what I’m doing, yes, often to the exclusion of others and outside activities. I’m in my element inside my head tossing around idea after idea. 

Yet, I’m one of the most caring and giving people you’ll ever meet too. Granted, I’m very judicious about whom I give my energy to, and as an introvert I have just a handful of friends that I would drop everything and support, but my passion is large and expansive for those who have endured the trials and tribulations that many introverts have.

Of course it isn’t introversion that is the culprit, it’s the way we have internalized our world and the defensive mechanisms that we have put into place that often get in our way of just being who we are. Or more specifically being O.K. with who we are.

I woke up this morning wondering what selfish means…I bought into it decades ago, and it still travels with me, but I think I’m just focused and driven. My thoughts are so consuming that I can’t ignore them. But they are not thoughts of myself, they are thoughts of others and how to help, so maybe it’s time to leave behind the shame of being selfish and accept that I’m driven and intense and I latch on to ideas like a bull dog with a bone.

Well, correcting erroneous beliefs is always a nice way to start ones day….you have a good one too. 

Life on a Different Planet

When your wonderful, teasing, yet irritating extrovert friend keeps doing something that drives you crazy:

Introvert: Why do you keep doing that when you know how much I hate it?

Extrovert: ???? You just answered your own question (smiling brightly).

They are not your enemy; they are just from another planet. Love them anyway.