The Case of the ADHD Adventurous Introvert

Too many choices. Too many distractions. Too many unfinished projects left in the wayside in favor of the new and improved (shiny) project. For someone who constantly tries to simplify her life, I sure have a slew of things calling for my attention.

My brain just won't rest. No wonder my relationship with the external world is love/hate. I love all the options and diversions and hate the energy drain...

I'm O.K. as long as I let the experience come and go. My downfall is wanting to do something with it - like hang on to it, or mold it into something else. 

Is it because the introvert in me wants to delve deeper into everything so that I can't just let things pass me by unexplored? Dunno...I promised myself I would rest and recuperate, but I'm sensing another adventure around the corner.....

Cha Cha Cha Changes....

Today is a lesson in letting go. This October 31 will be my two year anniversary of the launch of my website and monthly newsletters “The Journey Within”. In two years both have undergone changes in looks as well as content, but I’ve always stayed with the guided writing theme because that is what I use and what I believe in. I have offered my 6 week writing class as an audio eCourse and I’ve had countless clients who have reached stellar clarity and vision, but I am being called in a slightly different direction.

Currently I manage:

• A Website – ZanPackard.com
• A monthly newsletter - The Journey Within
• This blog - The Adventurous Introvert
• The completion of my first book (still a bit too far off to suit me)
• Private coaching clients
• and All things in-between.

While they all are interrelated, they are separate entities too. Each one demands maximum creativity, and each one feels like a full time job. And honestly they are too much for me to manage well. It feels as if they, or I, are always suffering from neglect.

I find that all I really want to do is to write and embark on adventures…tough to make a living out of that (at least so far), but that is where my heart is and where the heart goes, so does the money (OK, I made that up, but it’s a good mantra, don’t you think?).

So here’s what I will be doing over the next few months:

Website: http://www.ZanPackard.com

I’ve decided to change the website from a high maintenance informational site to instead focus on the series of new writing classes that are almost ready to unveil. They are a series of affordable, quick little instant download eLessons that center on a specific issue–  and will come to you as an eBook and video for one price – no need to choose, you will get both because sometimes you like to read and sometimes you like to watch.

So if you are used to my information rich website you will notice a change to one that is mainly focused on getting my products out and into your hands so that you can benefit from the results. The website will be my store, and one that can be managed by someone else if I’m away for long periods of time. 

I’ve avoided doing this because my loyal readers are used to a much more low-keyed, conversational/informational, website. But truly, I am going to do a grand promotion to get my eCourses into your hands so that you can benefit from what they have to offer. There will be much more of a sales angle because if you don’t buy it, you won’t work it and I know these lessons have lots to offer everyone.

Monthly Newsletter: The Journey Within

I’m also going to radically change the newsletter - The Journey Within…it has come full cycle and I am ready to focus on writing in a different way, for me and for my clients. The new version will have a new name and will focus more on courageous questions rather than on specific guided writing techniques. The questions will be about bringing purpose to your writing and to your life. They are really all any of us needs to move forward. If you aren’t asking them yourself, you can trust me to.

I can’t believe how difficult it is to let go of the original concept – one that started me on this amazing and wonderful journey. However, that system no longer suits who I am and my former students are likely ready to mix it up a bit too. As we change, so do our needs.

This blog will remain the same, and there is now a link in the right-hand column under my smiling picture for you to sign up to receive my Blog Post by email when ever a new story is posted. 

God bless the Adventurous Introvert and you for being steadfast, loyal readers. These few changes will allow me to branch out even more in my adventurousness and (finally) get my book into print.

To the future and life never remaining still….

Don't Miss Another Lively Post

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I'm So Very Humbled by Your Journey

When I first started this blog I wasn’t sure at all what I was doing. I was becoming more adventurous myself and I wanted to chronicle it in an entertaining sort of way and maybe even inspire others to find their own sense of adventure. I knew that I had made a huge lifestyle change - I was finally set free from my self imposed constraints, and I wanted to shout my joy from the rooftops…this blog is me shouting. Little did I know how life changing this blog would be you too.

There were times in the past 18 months where I was inclined to revert back into the comfort of my ‘cave’ and create a lively internal world rather than break through my comfort zone and actually explore outside of myself. Sometimes I did things simply to have something to write about, almost like a duty, but always I loved the adventure.

This blog kept me going. I became devoted to the concept of being adventurous, and it was a decisive factor in my decisions many times since its incarnation. This blog became my ‘child’ that I had to care for, to be a role model for, to love and nurture.

Knowing how painful my world was and how remarkable life became when I shed some of the shackles and began being true to myself – my adventurous self – I began to also hope that I might inspire others to do the same. If I could just help one person to live more fully with passion and intensity with the life that was burning inside of them then I could be a happy woman indeed.

I think we all love to share what excites us and the other day I received an email. I have permission to use excerpts from it and I’d like to share them with you. These words have meant more to me than I can truly express and make me realize that this blog is working. I’ve left out the identifying sentences for anonymity and am sharing the essence of the words that mean so much to me.

"I wanted to tell you how much you’ve inspired me to take a look at my life and make some much needed changes. When I read your accounts of your adventures it made me realize that I was wanting adventure too … my life is very controlled and I don’t have much room to maneuver, but I’ve decided to just take some time for myself … those around me don’t understand, and I can deal with that, but I am finally taking some risks that I had forgotten were important to me … one of the most disappointing things I’ve come to realize is that I’ve surrounded myself with people who have no sense of adventure, but I don’t let that stop me … I’m doing things on my own when necessary and the important thing is that I’m doing them. I have an opportunity [coming up] that I can’t say no to… It makes no sense to me, but there is a part of me that knows I must do it ... I thought you’d like to know how much you have touched one life.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts because I think they helped me start thinking of adventure in a different way and in a way that is important to me."

Thank you all for your remarks, your interest and your support. I’m not sure where I will end up, and it doesn’t matter, but I know I’ve helped one person begin to live more fully…what more can I ask for?

Gifting at Burning Man

 One of the philosophies of Burning Man is to be a gifting society. No money was exchanged for anything but ice – and I guess coffee at the café. There was food to be had, drinks to be had, mementos to be had all in the spirit of giving. The philosophy goes further than gifting of tangibles, it embraces a gifting attitude. A smile was a gift, a helping hand was a gift – anything that made the society run smoothly was a gift.

To my amazement, I spent a whole week within this temporary city of over forty thousand people packed into less than 5 square miles under some pretty harsh conditions at times. These people were there to have a good time, so I imagine each was partaking in their chosen form of de-inhibitors and yet, nothing was overtly obvious and the thing that amazed me most was that not once did I feel uncomfortable with the ethos of the crowd.

The gift I appreciated the most was to be able to freely walk around, be a part of the event and not just a spectator, absorb the energy of the environment and not have anyone push themselves on me. There wasn’t a single time I put my guard up or that I wished someone would go away, or quit talking or stop doing whatever they were doing. My comfort zone was fully respected without judgment, which allowed me to stretch my boundaries even more.

I like the gifting mentality. I think the best thing anyone can gift is their attitude. We are all in this life together. It may not feel like it at times, but we are one, none-the-less. Take care of your own square foot, reach out when you can, and tend to the most open attitude you can muster….it’s a great feeling.

BTW there is an organization created by past Burners that is making a difference around the world...Burners Without Borders is gifting at its highest. It started with relief for Katrina victims and has moved throughout the world helping where there is need. Check it out here http://www.burnerswithoutborders.org/ Peru has my name written all over it, maybe I can make that happen next year?

The Rhythm of Burning Man

Close your eyes….imagine music with a beat and rhythm that moves through you – kick starts your heart, caresses your soul, and brings you fully awake, alive, here and now!!

That’s the music of Burning Man – aside from the traditional band venues playing around the camps, there was the primary pulse that could be heard wherever you were. To me, it can only be called Burning Man. You may have heard it before – Lord knows I’ve never been adventurous in sound – but Burning Man haunts me good.

Every sunrise and sunset I could hear the beat of drum circles (djembe mostly). Every morning an Art Car would tour the camp waking me to the sweet, rhythmic message to my soul to come alive. My quiet mornings since have never been the same.

But the real music of Burning Man was different than I’ve ever heard. It was mostly without lyrics and it was total rhythm that moved through me. I didn’t listen to the music, I felt the music. I found myself dancing wherever I went a la flower child of yore – and I loved it.

The freedom to express the music through movement is, of course, very primal. What was that music Burning Man? Is there a name for it? And how can I get me some? I’d hate to wait a whole year to hear it again……


I found a link to some of the music - check it out and see if you aren't be-bopping around too today!!  http://kramer.methodrone.com/mixes/kramer_burningman_2010.mp3

Burning Man – Oh You’re One of Those People!

When I first decided to go to Burning Man (three weeks before the event) there were many calls to find an RV rental….one woman who found out her RV was going to Burning Man hung up on me because I was one of ‘those’ people…WOW, I still haven’t fully figured out who I am, I don’t know how she did it so quickly!!!

P.S. – there is no one type of person at Burning Man….just as in life, there are all types, just acting differently – more free – more respectful – more creative. That’s my take. I’ve heard other experiences that are different, but isn’t that the beauty of things? We all get what we’re looking for.

P.S.S. Sorry my pictures are so poor - there is definitely room for improvement next year!!

After Burn - Making Sense of Chaos

Every time I sit down to write about Burning Man my thoughts go a thousand different directions. Each experience was so self contained that it’s hard to put them into organized thoughts to make sense to anyone who wasn’t there – and maybe even to those who were there since we all saw Burning Man through our own eyes.

We were greeted at the entrance gate with a “Welcome home”, and while I now know what that means vis a vis Burning Man, it had a special meaning for me that night – a long-time desert rat with memories of security and place in the harsh environment. I was returning home, make no mistake about it, but this home was so vastly different that anything I’ve ever experienced.

Burning Man was everything I thought it would be and more. The desert will always be my emotional home. It is where I can breathe. It is where I can ground. It is a bigger part of me than I remembered and my reconnection was a joy. I can tell you about the hordes of people, the heat, the wind, the ever present dust, oh the dust!, the beauty of the sculptures standing alone on the Playa, and of course there is the noise - the music that is pulsating at all hours of the day, the Carnival/Mardi Gras feeling of the Esplanade at night, the Star Wars environment of the Playa during the day. It all fit together to make one big, amazing week.

I tried to write my thoughts down while I was there, but they were mostly a chronology of what I was doing. While there was much feeling evoked from all of it, I was unaware of what exactly they were…except when I was way out on the Playa getting my energy back from Mother Earth.

I still cannot find the words to describe what happened, but I am so content with the residual feelings that sit in my heart. Will I go back next year? Hell yeah!!

Look for further posts about the art, the people, the environment, the camps, the noise, the music...they all belong together in their own package....kind of like Christmas morning....many presents that all add up to be one event. I'm opening them all right now......