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Monday, January 10, 2011

Beyond our wildest dreams...

Our greatest fear is not that we will fail. Our greatest fear is that we will succeed beyond our wildest dreams. Sounds a bit off doesn’t it? But it’s not. Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art puts it in perfect perspective:

“This is the most terrifying prospect a human being can face because it ejects him at one go (he imagines) from all the tribal inclusions his psyche is wired for and has been for fifty million years.”

On a recent road trip with a first-class, A-number-one, primo friend, I was beginning to find the words to express my current state of being: things that used to fit (psychically) no longer were fitting….I seemed to be out growing my...well, everything.

I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts for some weeks – Is it me? Is it them? Will anything ever be enough? Why can’t I be satisfied with what I have? Am I running away from me? You might know this way of thinking too – I find it’s pretty common.

When I read Pressfield’s words I knew instantly. My environment hadn’t changed – it was still the cozy, warm, welcoming, breath-of-fresh-air place that drew me to it two years ago. No, I was the one who changed.

Two years ago I needed to be precisely here because here was where I began to live in my bliss – I began to take risks and push on the edges of my security. I began to open up my world to see the possibilities and the vastness of it all. I began to experience being alive.  

I certainly flourished from my current surroundings. I love it still – but it is not enough. I am ready to play on a different field and to do so means I leave behind my tribal inclusions and must go find another tribe.

I have found my next landing spot. I will be moving to San Francisco in April. I will be auditioning at many tribes to find a new place to grow and evolve. I am beyond excited to embark on this adventure. Oh, yeah….I’m scared to death too – isn’t that great?