Compassion and Courage

I have much to be thankful for this holiday season. Far more of my life is in good order than not, but still I have my moments of doubt, disappointment and sadness. The holidays actually intensify these feelings for me. Sometimes I am gripped by sadness as I look back over the years…this sense is with me today, but does not fit in today’s world. Where, then to put it? I know it is momentary and will pass. I know there is not much intellectual logic in my feelings, but still it sits in my heart…this heaviness.

I am so thankful that the years of yore are past and are no longer a part of my daily reality. I recognize that the holidays are rife with triggers that dredge up these old wounds. Wounds that have healed over and are no longer inflamed.

I feel guilty having this sadness, not only at this time of year but also in the midst of such lovely abundance that I call my life. The holidays should be for joy, but I know all too well that they do not bring joy to everyone. I know all too well that we are not to display our pain at this time of year which adds even more to the feelings of brokenness and loneliness. If you are feeling the wounds of your past, know that you are not alone. Know that we all have a moment or two of pause, of sadness, of regret. This too is what the holidays bring. I wish you understanding and compassion in every moment of your life. Lacking that, I wish you strength and courage to be who you are and step boldly into tomorrow.